Forecast for the next few days...heavy fog
It's like this heavy fog has entered my brain whilst sleeping - or not sleeping - at "AIESEC SA's hottest State Conference ever" (that's its official title) and its settling in for the winter :-)
I drove home yesterday from "AIESEC SA's hottest State Conference ever" completely bewildered,in awe, frazzled and incredibly drained. For a start I have never been so excited by a bunch of young people (ie. people my age) in my life. I could not believe their ability to challenge, interact and "actively participate" within AIESEC activity so early on in their AIESEC experience. I am not only excited but slightly overwhelmed about leading a team of people who are amazingly determined, creative and driven towards their own goals.Will I measure up?
But it is not just that - there continues to be the whole "where to from here" question buzzing around in my head. Furthermore realising that that was my last State conference and this could be my preparation for "heading towards the future" - the end of my AIESEC experience...
A question arose while at conference and I think it is contributing to this heavy fog that seems to be hovering over my head, prohibiting me from communicating effectively to any of my family members, friends or even sleeping.
"How long is too long in AIESEC?"
The past few weeks I have been evaluating whether or not I will ever stop being challenged by this organisation. But I am purely using it as a safety net for entering the big world and doing more stuff and things? I continue to re-evaluate the amount of time I should spend within this organisation...how do you know when it is time to leave?
This point was highlighted moreso after hearing a previous AIESEC Alumni speak about her experiences in AIESEC for four years and returning to her region as an alumni and being inspired about where the SA region is going today and wanting to be further involved. AIESEC is constantly changing and that is why people can end up being in it for 6 years...
Last weekend I welcomed a 28 year old AIESEC intern into my home, into SA and into her intership at Australian Refugee Association. To see a 28 year old (who has been in AIESEC for 5 years, had an AIESEC internship in Kenya and worked in public health for 3 years) almost cry and laugh and cheer about how amazing her internship is, an internship that I worked on for 8 months to get her here made me almost laugh, cry and cheer! To hear her say it is the best experience and job she has ever had after 2 days of working there made me realise that AIESEC continues to make a difference in a person's life even after thinking you are at the "point of settling down."
I loathe thinking about the fact I have 3 more months to achieve the thousands of things I want to in AIESEC before going on my internship to Africa. To think I am going to miss out on the achievements that the new AIESEC SA region is going to achieve. To miss out on the satisfaction of new members, that I have lead and encouraged, when they reach their goals and then ask the question - "now how can I challenge myself further?"
And yet when I try to think about a logical and organised way of approaching the next few months all I see is this heavy fog. I try turning on the headlights, working harder at fumbling my way around all of these ideas, tasks and opportunities in the future but I seem to be merely glazing over, day dreaming and not able to find one stable object for navigation.
Now while all of these posts seem to have been very ponderous- Chloe's new word :-) - and reflective about my life you must recognise that this is one side of me...the time when I get to stop, breathe, think and let my heart do the writing.
For those who know me, they will know that this is Chloe's deeper, ponderous self and that I like to be able to have this space to splurge all of this stuff so that during the day, the week and the middle of the night I can party, I can scream and laugh and talk about bullshit. I can dance like an AIESEC cult maniac, I can chant so that I loose my voice for 2 days, I can drink 3/4 bottle of vodka with my closest friends, I can shotgun a beer, I can win the SA SKOLLING CUP and I can call myself and close others "spaztards and mongs." :-) That's just life whether I am in heavy fog, thunderstorms, 45 degree heat or a beautiful spring day.
I drove home yesterday from "AIESEC SA's hottest State Conference ever" completely bewildered,in awe, frazzled and incredibly drained. For a start I have never been so excited by a bunch of young people (ie. people my age) in my life. I could not believe their ability to challenge, interact and "actively participate" within AIESEC activity so early on in their AIESEC experience. I am not only excited but slightly overwhelmed about leading a team of people who are amazingly determined, creative and driven towards their own goals.Will I measure up?
But it is not just that - there continues to be the whole "where to from here" question buzzing around in my head. Furthermore realising that that was my last State conference and this could be my preparation for "heading towards the future" - the end of my AIESEC experience...
A question arose while at conference and I think it is contributing to this heavy fog that seems to be hovering over my head, prohibiting me from communicating effectively to any of my family members, friends or even sleeping.
"How long is too long in AIESEC?"
The past few weeks I have been evaluating whether or not I will ever stop being challenged by this organisation. But I am purely using it as a safety net for entering the big world and doing more stuff and things? I continue to re-evaluate the amount of time I should spend within this organisation...how do you know when it is time to leave?
This point was highlighted moreso after hearing a previous AIESEC Alumni speak about her experiences in AIESEC for four years and returning to her region as an alumni and being inspired about where the SA region is going today and wanting to be further involved. AIESEC is constantly changing and that is why people can end up being in it for 6 years...
Last weekend I welcomed a 28 year old AIESEC intern into my home, into SA and into her intership at Australian Refugee Association. To see a 28 year old (who has been in AIESEC for 5 years, had an AIESEC internship in Kenya and worked in public health for 3 years) almost cry and laugh and cheer about how amazing her internship is, an internship that I worked on for 8 months to get her here made me almost laugh, cry and cheer! To hear her say it is the best experience and job she has ever had after 2 days of working there made me realise that AIESEC continues to make a difference in a person's life even after thinking you are at the "point of settling down."
I loathe thinking about the fact I have 3 more months to achieve the thousands of things I want to in AIESEC before going on my internship to Africa. To think I am going to miss out on the achievements that the new AIESEC SA region is going to achieve. To miss out on the satisfaction of new members, that I have lead and encouraged, when they reach their goals and then ask the question - "now how can I challenge myself further?"
And yet when I try to think about a logical and organised way of approaching the next few months all I see is this heavy fog. I try turning on the headlights, working harder at fumbling my way around all of these ideas, tasks and opportunities in the future but I seem to be merely glazing over, day dreaming and not able to find one stable object for navigation.
Now while all of these posts seem to have been very ponderous- Chloe's new word :-) - and reflective about my life you must recognise that this is one side of me...the time when I get to stop, breathe, think and let my heart do the writing.
For those who know me, they will know that this is Chloe's deeper, ponderous self and that I like to be able to have this space to splurge all of this stuff so that during the day, the week and the middle of the night I can party, I can scream and laugh and talk about bullshit. I can dance like an AIESEC cult maniac, I can chant so that I loose my voice for 2 days, I can drink 3/4 bottle of vodka with my closest friends, I can shotgun a beer, I can win the SA SKOLLING CUP and I can call myself and close others "spaztards and mongs." :-) That's just life whether I am in heavy fog, thunderstorms, 45 degree heat or a beautiful spring day.
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